Lucy in Disguise

When the idea came to me about doing this post, I was reminded of a famous song.  In their 1967 album, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, the Beatles sang a very memorable song.  The title and the opening lyrics are the same.  John Lennon sings, “Lucy in Disguise with Diamonds”.

Did you just correct me, or did you not?  Either way, I guess you proved my point.

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The song, written by John Lennon and performed by his group, the Beatles, is actually named, “Lucy in the Skies, with Diamonds”.  It is so commonly misunderstood and mispronounced that many people don’t even know the correct name.

Like that song, there are many words and phrases in our language that are mispronounced, often changing their meaning dramatically.

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Now, lest you think I’m trying to set myself up as an expert on these things, let me burst that particular bubble.  While I do think I have an above-average grasp of proper pronunciation and grammar, I have found that even I have fallen victim to our tricky language.  I wanted to do this post as best I can, but I found that, more correctly, I have to do it as best as I can.

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I’m tempted to say, keep reading; each example I give is better than the next.  Now, I’ve always questioned that expression.  It seems to indicate that things get worse from here, but it’s the only way I’ve ever heard it spoken.  Lo and behold, it turns out that my doubts were correct, it should be each is better than the last (or one before). 

Now that makes more sense.

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Then there is mischievous.  I grew up pronouncing it as four syllables – “miss-chee-vee-us”.  It is actually only three syllables – “misch-uh-vus” with the emphasis on the first.

Oops.

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I found the song title to be a blessing in disguise, which some actually call a blessing in the skies. I guess Lucy just got her revenge.

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Many words are mispronounced, misspelled, et cetera…like, well, et cetera.  I’ve heard it pronounced et-cedera and ek-cetera.  It is actually pronounced et-set-er-a.  The common misspelling for the abbreviation is ect.  The correct spelling for the shortened version is etc.  It makes sense, right?

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If you live a long life, you are long lived (short i sound), not long lived (long i sound), yet we hear it as often one way as the other.

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When you want to ask someone a question, they probably won’t appreciate it if you axe them.  While you’re at it, don’t ast them either.

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A conversation is what you have when you converse with someone.  Some say they conversate with others, but, believe it or not, there is no such word as conversate.

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I do much of my writing using a word processing program on my laptop computer.  If I was still in college, I could put my laptop on a laboratory table, but it would never, ever be a labtop computer.

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When I get dressed, I first take the clothes I’m going to wear out of my chest of drawers.  Heaven forbid I could ever have occasion to look in Chester drawers.  Anything Chester has in his drawers, he can keep there, with no interference from me.

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There is a lot of competition in the business world.  Although it may be cute to call it a doggy-dog world, it is more accurately called a dog-eat-dog world.

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What is that little star-shaped punctuation mark that denotes the presence of a footnote?  Oh yeah, it’s an asterisk, not an asterix, although I often hear it pronounced that way.  Yes, I know, Asterix is a character in some French cartoons. 

Get over it.

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The only way to take something for granite is if we are confused about our rocks.  But we take a lot of things for granted every day.

When we take something for granted, that means we just consider it to be true, without any proof or reason, like it’s carved in stone and can be no other way.  Carved in stone?  I’m starting to have second thoughts about taking something for granite.

Not really.

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We sometimes use an old wrestling term to indicate that there are no restrictions on something.  That is no holds barred.  No holes barred is wrong, and sounds kind of inappropriate too.

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A debatable question; an issue open to argument; an irrelevant question; or a matter of no importance may actually not be able to speak, but they will never be mute points.  They are, however, moot points.

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Carpal Tunnel Syndrome is an unpleasant condition that occurs in a person’s wrists.  It has nothing to do with the military so I have to wonder why I so often hear it pronounced corporal tunnel syndrome.

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In the wild west, the military was called the cavalry, which many people tend to call calvary.  Sorry folks, Calvary is real, but it’s a hill outside Jerusalem.

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Speaking of the wild west, have you ever watched a western and seen some men playing poker in the saloon?  One guy will throw down his cards and jump up, yelling, “You card shark!  You’re cheating me!”  We-e-e-ell, believe it or not, there is no such thing as a card shark.  A person who is really good at something is quite sharp, thus, the cowboy in our western is a card sharp, not a card shark.

While I’m thinking about sharks and sharps; the great pool player, Minnesota Fats, was a pool sharp, not a shark.  There is no such thing as a pool shark.  On second thought, if I’m swimming and I see a fin cutting through the swimming pool, I will concede that particular point…and get out of the pool as fast as I can.

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Right, now you may be wondering why I’m writing about this.  You might be saying, “I could care less whether people say the correct term.”  C’mon, think about it, if you don’t care at all about something, how could you care less than that?  More correctly, you should say, “I couldn’t care less.”

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Before I asked Annie to marry me, I bought her an engagement ring.  Several people recommended that I buy it at a jew-ler-y store.  I’m pretty sure they meant I should shop at a jewelry store but it really doesn’t matter; I bought it at Wal-Mart.

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I cringe when I hear most of Hollywood call atomic weapons and power as “nuc-you-lar” or “new-key-lar”.  I’m pretty sure they mean nuc-lee-ar.

An old factory may smell pretty bad, but that’s the only thing it has to do with your ability to smell.  That is a function of your olfactory organs, not your old-factory-organs.

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When we recently sold Mom’s house a few years ago, we used a very knowledgeable realtor.   She was not a real-a-tor in any way, shape, or form, because there’s no such thing.

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This may get me in trouble with people close to me, but there is a delicious icy treat called sherbet (pronounced sher-but).  As far as I know, no ice cream company has ever made sherbert (sher-bert).

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Some mispronunciations actually make more sense than the correct one, at least to some people.

Old-timer’s disease makes more sense to our ears than Alzheimer’s disease, but the latter is the appropriate name.  Although it is a disease associated with old-timers, it is named for the German neurologist, Dr. Alois Alzheimer.

It kind of makes sense to argue that something is a certain way, for all intensive purposes, but it is actually for all intents and purposes.

Sometimes one of the boys I worked with would try to get out of trouble by blaming someone else, so it kind of sounds like they are using that person as an escape goat.  They may be trying to escape the consequences but they are using the poor person as a scapegoat, which comes from the old Jewish tradition of sacrificing a goat, sheep, pigeon, etc. in payment for their sins.

If something makes you curious to know more, it may sound like it peaked your interest, but your interest has actually been piqued. 

Oops, that was actually a spelling mistake, not a pronunciation error.  Oh, well, I wanted to include it, so I did.

Many people will complain about needing to eat by saying they have hunger pains.  While hunger is sometimes unpleasant, those pains are more correctly called hunger pangs.

I am taken aback by how many people say taken back, as in, “I was taken back by what you said.”  Said correctly, it would be, “I was taken aback by what you said.” 

Of course, it doesn’t help that back in the old days, aback actually did mean back.

Dang!  I hate it when the rules change around me.

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OK, OK, I’ve bugged you enough so, from now on, supposably you will do your upmost to…  no, wait; I mean supposedly do your utmost to speak more correctly.

Oh, well, if I haven’t made my point by now, I guess it’s a mute…uh, moot, point anyway.

Dang it!

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