Colorado’s Funny, Punny Signs

I was headed home from work yesterday, passing through the little town of Risco, Missouri, when I noticed a local church’s announcement sign.  It read, “With all this rain we’ve had, we could use an ark.  We’re in luck; we Noah guy.”

I smiled.  There’s nothing like a good pun to brighten my day.

A lot of businesses put cute sayings on their announcement boards from time to time. 

But one town’s sign takes the jokes to a whole new level.

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There may be only 1280 residents in Indian Hills, Colorado, but their community center sign has brought them worldwide fame.

Vince Rozmiarek has lived in the town for the last 12 years.  Seven years ago, when he started volunteering at the Indian Hills Community Center, one of his first tasks was to build a new, bigger sign for notes of interest to area residents.

Vince constructed a nice, colorful sign and started posting messages.  A couple years later, when April Fool’s Day came around, he had the idea to post a gag and poke a little fun at a nearby community.  That town, Morrison, Colorado, has a well-known speed trap along Highway 285, so Rozmiarek posted, “Indian Hills annexed by Morrison, SLOW DOWN” on the sign.

That got the attention of a few more people besides just patrons of the nearby Sit N Bull bar, who were worried that it might be true.

According to Vince, “I got several phone calls — one from the police department asking what was going on in Indian Hills.  I explained it was an April Fool’s prank and that I would pull it down at the end of the day. They said ‘Thanks, we just need to know what to tell people.’ Thus, it began.”

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His neighbors and passersby loved the sign and Rozmiarek was inspired.  He now changes the words at least twice a week without ever repeating the same saying.

One such posting quickly gained viral status.  “Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right,” and started even more people driving by to read the sign or checking it out online. 

Speaking of offended; most everyone takes the comments in the lighthearted spirit with which they are intended.

“We had a sign that got vandalized that read ‘Turning vegan would be a big missed steak,’” Rozmiarek said. “Various news outlets did a story about the fact that a vegan restaurant stole the letters and wouldn’t give them back. Our response was to send a post with a picture of a cow with a knife to its head saying ‘You have 24 hours to give our letters back or the cow gets it.’ It was an entertaining exchange and we did eventually get the letters back with some vegan donuts.”

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Rozmiarek still posts your standard announcements of interest to residents: – births, deaths, weddings, upcoming elections, etc., but he gets more attention from the puns, like, “The only thing flat-Earthers have to fear is sphere itself” or, “Looking back, I really hurt my neck,” and “Ban pre-shredded cheese.  Make America grate again.”  How about, “Cow stumbles into pot field!  The steaks have never been higher,” or, “Dogs can’t operate MRI scanners, but catscan.”

Sometimes he even makes fun of himself.  After several readers pointed out a mistake on the sign, he posted, “Every time you make a typo, the errorists win,” and, “Autocorrect makes me say things I didn’t Nintendo.”

Vince said he spends a lot of time researching new, fresh ideas. “Also, I’m a dad, so it comes naturally.” 

Which may be why he posted, “A joke doesn’t become a dad joke until it’s full groan.”

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The sign has its own Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/IndianHillsCommunitySign/), which has attracted nearly 50,000 followers in 45 different countries, “and in places as far reaching as New Zealand,” he explained.

“It’s a labor of love and I enjoy making people smile,” Rozmiarek said. “Also, because I’m constantly looking for new material, it keeps me in a good mood cause I’m always looking and creating funny stuff.”

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Maybe Vince should think about retiring.  He seems to be having delusions of grandeur.  He posted one sign that said, “If you’re looking for a sign, this is it.”

Or maybe I should take it as my sign that I need to quit writing this post while I’m ahead.  So, I’ll take the opportunity to end with a vegetable pun of my own.

What did you say?  “Lettuce not?”

OK, I won’t. 

After all, I relish my readers.

Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

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