How does this grab you?

If you’ve ever seen the movie, Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964) you will probably remember the role played by the inimitable Peter Sellers.  He portrayed an ultra-right winger who espoused his beliefs and opinions loudly.  In contrast his right arm seemed to have a mind of its own, frequently trying to present a Nazi salute.

His struggles to control the arm were good for more than a few chuckles.

People who actually do suffer from “Dr. Strangelove Syndrome” don’t think it’s funny at all. Yes, really.

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The official name for the malady often called Dr. Strangelove Syndrome is alien hand syndrome and it has been well-documented medically.

The disorder has been fodder for scary stories and movies, such as Mad Love (1935), in which a surgeon, played by classic horror actor Peter Lorre, replaces the hands of a pianist with those of a murderer whose preferred method of killing is with thrown knives.  You see where I’m going?  Yes, in the movie, the surgeon’s victim is unable to control his murderous appendages.

Lucky for us, only part of that scenario is based in fact for the sufferers of the sickness.  People who have the condition really do struggle to control the afflicted appendage.

According to scientists, the action is a, “complex, goal-directed activity in one hand that is not voluntarily initiated.”  In other words, it does things that the person doesn’t “tell” it to.  Sufferers can have a normal sense of touch in the afflicted hand or foot and are aware of the movement but often don’t feel that they have control over it.

A sufferer may be happily talking to friends at a party or waiting in line for a seat at a restaurant when the afflicted hand reaches out and touches, grabs, pinches, or pats a nearby person, and with no warning at all.

Can you imagine standing beside your loved one when your hand reaches out and grabs someone else in a very personal place?  I don’t think I have to tell you that the complaint sufferers often use, “I can’t make it listen to me!” is not accepted by many people who have just been grabbed inappropriately and unexpectedly.

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Symptoms described range from repeatedly grabbing and releasing an object to oddly self-oppositional movements, like turning on a light switch with one hand and flipping it off with the other, usually non-dominant, hand.  In other words, if you are right-handed, the afflicted hand is normally the left one.

Although some victims are able to regulate the alien hand with difficulty, the control is often imprecise, such as trying to pick up a plate, but retrieving the fork next to it instead.  Others are helpless to make the affected hand comply with their desires.  In extreme cases, the hand has attacked its possessor, even trying to seriously injure or kill him or her.

Now there’s your horror story.

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Many researchers believe the syndrome is associated with some kind of brain trauma or injury, such as tumor, stroke, infection, or aneurism.  However, it has also been documented in epileptics who have chosen to have the left and right hemispheres of their brains separated in an attempt to control their epilepsy.

Simply put, there is no known cure for the syndrome.  Some sufferers have had a measure of success by giving their alien hand something to do, such as carrying an umbrella when they are out in public.  I guess you could look at it as giving their alien hand something to keep it occupied, like a toddler, so it can’t get into any mischief.

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In conclusion, I want to warn any young readers I may have who might think they are going to get away with touching someone of the opposite sex inappropriately then claiming, “My alien hand made me do it!”

Ye-e-e-eah, no.  I don’t think so.

Six-foot-six Bubba might use the same excuse when he beats the pee-waddin’ out of you for grabbing his girlfriend somewhere he doesn’t like…which would be pretty much anywhere.

Just sayin’.

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