Until Life Isn’t Hard Anymore

Like so many people in America, I was recently introduced to an incredibly beautiful young woman named Jane Marczewski.  Jane has the voice of an angel, a lovely face, sparkling eyes, a million-watt smile…

…and terminal cancer.

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I’m not a huge fan of America’s Got Talent.  I don’t think I’ve ever watched a full episode.  One recent day at work a coworker brought a link to a YouTube video he wanted to share with the youth in our group.  The clip was from the current season (season 16) of America’s Got Talent.

The boys sat in awed silence as Jane, who performs under the name Nightbirde, took the stage and began to talk to the judges.

“How are you?” Judge Howie Mandell asked.

“I’m awesome,” Jane answered.  “I’m so happy to be here.”

Mandell asked if she is a professional performer or what kind of work she does.

Jane explained that she has been taking time off in recent years to deal with cancer. 

Simon Cowell asked, “How are you now?”

Nightbirde explained, “Last time I checked, I had some cancer in my lungs, my spine, and my liver.”

When Nightbirde began to sing her original song, “I’m OK”, all four judges were amazed.  Cowell, who is known as one of the toughest judges, was so impressed that he hit the “Golden Buzzer,” thus saving Jane from having to continue competing, but allowed her to jump straight to the next level.

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Jane was born December 31, 1990, in Zanesville, Ohio to Mitchell and Sharon Marczewski.  She was passionate and talented as a child.  She wrote songs and kept a journal.  Her love of art only increased as she grew up.

Jane decided to pursue her love of music, but that wasn’t all; she married in 2015.

Then her life took a turn for the worse.

In September of 2017 Jane was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer.  At only 27 years old she underwent a double-mastectomy.  Her bodyweight dropped to 80 pounds. 

After ten months of treatments, she was declared cancer-free.

She was not to stay that way for long.

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On New Year’s Eve in 2019, which was also Jane’s 29^th birthday, she received a diagnosis of terminal cancer.  “Innumerable tumors were found throughout my lungs, liver, lymph nodes, ribs, and spine.  I was on the living room floor, leaning over the report, head in my hands.  Six months to live, 2% chance of survival.”

That’s right, the doctors gave her just six months to live with only a 2% chance of surviving at all.

Within two weeks of being diagnosed with stage three cancer, her husband announced that he wanted out of the marriage. Also during that time, Jane had found that she was pregnant.  Perhaps due to the disease, she lost the baby at 15 weeks.

Despite all the bad news she’d gotten, Jane chose to face life and the disease head-on.

On July 20, 2020 Jane posted a celebratory video on social media, declaring that she was cancer free.

Sadly, she later learned that her cancer had returned for a third time.  She chose to go ahead and continue to pursue her dreams and applied for an audition with America’s Got Talent despite how badly she felt.  Her bodyweight had fallen to 85 pounds.  She had lost her hair and was so sick that, during practice, she was unable to even finish singing the song she had chosen for her audition.

The indomitable Jane told herself that she would just have to heal fast enough to be able to audition.

She recovered enough that she was able to audition, and gave the performance that my friend showed at work.

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How is she doing now?

“Physically, I’m doing well,” Jane said in a recent interview.  “For me it’s just like miracle after miracle after miracle.  I just finished some treatments a week ago, and the doctors are anticipating that it’s going to take care of everything that was left over.  We won’t be able to test.  It’s too early to really check.  It’ll be a few more months before we can go back in and see what’s going on, but I’m expecting good news.  I really am.”

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So how did Jane choose to perform using the name Nightbirde? 

Jane said it came to her at a time when she’d had the same dream multiple nights in a row.  In that dream, birds were singing outside her bedroom window in the dark.  One night she awoke at 3 a.m. and realized that she was not dreaming that time; birds were indeed singing despite the darkness…as if it was a sunny day. 

According to Jane, “I wanted to embody that…being somebody that could sing through the dark times because I was so full of hope and assurance that there would be a morning.”

“It’s important that everyone knows that I’m so much more than the bad things that happen to me.”

Then she spoke the words that echo within me, “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore, before you decide to be happy.”

I love the way she put that, “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore, before you decide to be happy.”

Um…I’m still not sure where the “e” on the end of Nightbirde came from.

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Nightbirde is excited about her upcoming live shows in preparation for her continued competition on AGT, but she doesn’t take receiving the Golden Buzzer lightly.

“I’m completely blown away, overwhelmed, speechless.  It’s going to take me a long time to even comprehend what’s happened.  It’s so amazing.”

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In an earlier interview, Jane talked about how she wrote the song that has earned her so much attention.

She spoke of feeling lost and realizing that we all go through rough times in life.  “I have gone through cancer three times.  At my worst, I was given three to six months to live, and a 2% chance of survival.  On top of all that, I then realized my marriage is ending.  The next thing I know, I’m going through a divorce while fighting this disease.

“I then move across the country (to California) to look for some miracle treatment that I don’t actually have money to pay for.  It felt like everything fell apart.  Later that year I suffered a catatonic mental breakdown where I did not speak, or eat or move from bed for three months.  I lost 80 pounds and…at that point I really believed that I was going to die.

“It’s wild to think about it, because that was only four months ago (at the time of the interview)…when I was at my worst and really believing I was going to die.  It was in that moment that I wrote the song, because I was having a hard time, unaware that things (would) get worse before they would get better.”

She found herself saying the phrase, “It’s OK,” out loud to herself constantly.  “So then it became a song that I would listen back to so that I could hear that stronger part of myself…that more resolute and unmovable part of myself, singing it back to me.  The message that, ‘It’s Ok.  It’s OK.  It’s OK.  Everyone’s lost.  It’s OK’.  This song means so much; it’s my story.  It’s my life.  It’s the story that I’m still in and, apparently, everyone else was in a story like that too, in their own way.

“I have a 2% chance of survival, but 2% is not 0%.  Two percent is something…and I wish people knew how amazing it is.”

Jane’s performance struck a chord with listeners.  “It’s OK” quickly hit number one on iTunes, and three of her other songs soon followed it into the top 100 sellers on the site.

“I could have never predicted this type of response.  It’s just beautiful.”

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Nightbirde is scheduled to compete again in August of this year.  Will she win?  I think she will, but, after battling cancer three times and losing her husband and a baby in just a few short years, one thing is certain.  Even if she doesn’t win, Jane won’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before she chooses to be happy.

God bless you, Nightbirde.  You are already a winner.

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