Dear Tooth Fairy

Annie and I learned long ago that, as a parent, we could never anticipate all the crazy ideas that my kids could come up with, but a little boy from Waco Texas tried something that none of mine ever did. 

Or maybe they did think of it but just didn’t have the guts to try it.

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Eight-year-old Hallister Senn spent his entire savings ($20) on a new watch and found himself wanting more, said his mom, Elizabeth.

Well, most eight-year-olds have limited options for earning money.  There are the checks from grandparents for Christmas and birthdays and, of course, there’s the allowance from Mom and Dad.  Maybe even pay for some regular chores.

And then there’s the tooth fairy.

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Evidently Hallister had a need for more money about the same time he discovered a loose tooth. 

I can see him in my mind’s eye, wiggling and fiddling with the tooth until it eventually got loose enough.  I don’t know if he used the old thread-and-doorknob method to finally get it out, but I know he put it under his pillow and waited.

The tooth fairy came through for the boy and left a buck under his sleeping head.  But when Hallister saw the money, he wasn’t satisfied.  But he had an idea.  Rather than settle for the standard $1 per tooth rate, he thought he could try to negotiate for higher wages.

So he wrote a note and left it under his pillow, along with the dollar: “Dear Tooth Fairy, I want a five dollar bill or hire (higher), besides I worked so hard to pull it out.  From Hallister.  Here’s your dollar.  Have it under my pillow by afternoon.”

I probably would have had a discussion with my boys about the strong-arm tenor of the note or about being lucky just to get a dollar.  You know, something along the lines of, “Take it or leave it.”

But Hallister’s mom had a different and, I admit, better idea. 

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Ms. Senn took a couple days to think it over and came up with a strategy of her own.  She got on her computer and composed a reply.

Senn chuckled, “Once I started typing, it just all started coming out.”

The note began: “My name is Dee Kay. My associate Tooth Fairy told me about your letter and I have been assigned to your case, #092208-5.

“We have removed our Plaques from the wall, going 3 years EWI (extraction without incident), in order to focus and resolve your case.  It looks as though we need to Brush Up on our extraction skills, and the going rate for teeth.

“One thing we do agree on and have taken into consideration, it was very bold of you to ask for more money.  Since all your teeth have been cavity free we decided to increase our TPO (tooth pay out) by $1 for future extractions.  This is with the stipulation the tooth is cavity free.  Should you place a cavity filled tooth under your pillow you will receive a bill to cover our costs of flight travel.  We cannot take CFT’s (cavity filled teeth) back with us.  Our CTO (central tooth officer) S. Cary Gums, would shut down the DDD (Department of Dental Disturbance) if we even attempted to bring a CFT back, and that would mean no TPO’s for children anywhere.  I know you wouldn’t want to be the cause of that.

“Thank you for reading our response to your letter.  I am filing this case as closed.”

She then closed with “Stay strong and brush on!” and Dee Kay’s signature.

Her son was shocked.

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“I didn’t really expect her to respond,” he told a reporter.

Elizabeth Senn added, “He wanted to recoup his wallet quicker than normal,” she explained, adding, “He took the dollar and he hasn’t complained. I don’t think he’ll be writing any more letters to her.”

Hallister agreed, “Nope. I’m not going to try again.”

I give Ms. Senn some credit for her creativity, but even more for her determination to stick to her guns and be the kind of mom who wants to raise a boy with good dental hygiene.

When asked if the tooth fairy would leave money for Hallister in the future, she replied, “As long as there’s no cavities.”

Yay, Mom!

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